What If You're Not the Problem, But the Programming Is? | The Tamsen Show Copy

If you’ve ever felt like you were doing everything “right” and still felt invisible, stuck, or unfulfilled…you’re not alone. And according to Dr. Shefali, you’re also not broken.

You’ve been programmed.

In a powerful conversation on The Tamsen Show, Dr. Shefali unpacked how Gen X women were raised in a system that measured their worth by external validation. 

Be a good girl. Be quiet. Be thin. Be nice. Be needed.

The result? Decades of over-functioning, approval-seeking, and putting everyone else first.

And midlife? That’s when it starts to crack.

“Midlife is a spiritual reckoning,” Dr. Shefali says. “It’s when the roles stop working. The mask falls off. And you start asking, who am I without all of this?”

Her prescription isn’t another hustle or glow-up. It’s about unlearning the performance, releasing the attachment to perfection, and returning to your inner knowing.

Because the path to freedom isn’t doing more, it’s doing less of what was never yours to carry.

If you're ready to stop performing and start being, listen to the full episode episode of The Tamsen Show Podcast.