Why I stopped counting calories (and what I do instead)

Can I admit something to you? I've struggled with eating for most of my life.

Growing up Gen X, being skinny was the ultimate goal. We were taught that food wasn’t nourishment, but a means of punishment and reward. Every dessert needed to be earned, every calorie tracked.

So that’s what I did. I controlled my body, tracked my food, and burned it off with exercise. I genuinely believed that shrinking myself meant that I was doing something right because that was what was rewarded. This mindset carried over into adulthood. In the back of my head, I was always calculating, restricting and chasing a smaller size. It was exhausting, but I believed it was what I needed to do.

Until one day, it stopped working. I can vividly remember waking up, looking in the mirror, and thinking, “Whose body is that?!” I didn’t recognize myself. I was in perimenopause, but I had no idea. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. It seemed like overnight I went up a size or two, even though I hadn’t changed a thing about my diet or lifestyle. Naturally, I went right back to the diet-restriction mindset. Eat less and work out harder. That’s the answer, I told myself.

When I spoke with registered dietitian Abbey Sharp about this experience (listen to our conversation here), she said this was actually one of the biggest and most common mistakes women make in menopause.

“You see your body change so you think, I’m going to stop eating carbs and exercise every day to stop this. But really, the most important thing we can do for our bodies in midlife is to protect our metabolic muscle, which burns three times as many calories at rest compared to fat. When you cut your calories too low, you dig into that metabolic muscle and harm your metabolism long-term.”

I wish I had someone like Abbey to teach me this earlier, because this was a lesson I learned the hard way. The more I tried to push, punish, and diet my body into a certain size, the more it resisted. The diets and restrictions were breaking me down, denying my body the nutrients it needed to support my hormones as they fluctuated in midlife.

The sad truth is, my experience isn’t unique. I hear from women all the time: they’re sick and tired of dieting, but they don’t know what else to do. That’s exactly why I asked Abbey Sharp to join me on the podcast. In this conversation, she shares an evidence-based approach to eating that supports energy, metabolism, and long-term health so you can stop dieting for good.

In this episode, Abbey and I discuss:

• Insulin resistance and how it impacts hunger, metabolism, and weight
• The truth “inflammatory foods” and other nutrition myths
• Protein: how much you actually need and why it’s essential for women in midlife
• The critical role of fiber in satiety, digestion, and blood sugar balance
• What to eat to support your body during (peri)menopause
• What to eat on GLP-1s

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And so much more.

If you’re tired of chasing the next diet or weight-loss hack, this episode will change the way you think about food. By the end of it, you’ll have the science and tools that will empower you to support your body, energy, and long-term health at every stage of life.

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