I’m angry (and you should be, too)

If you’re angry, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not overreacting either. 

Sure, some of your anger might be hormonal. But a lot of it is not. A lot of the anger you’re feeling in midlife is earned. Because the system has failed us, giving us silence instead of information.

When most women enter perimenopause, they have no idea what’s happening to their bodies. We know we might experience hot flashes or mood swings, but no one warns us about the cognitive shifts, the emotional disconnection, or the anxiety that makes us feel like we’re losing our minds. By the time we start asking questions, we’re often met with the same disappointing response: doctors who dismiss us or tell us to “just wait it out.”

In my book, How To Menopause, I tell the story of a woman who was struggling with all the classic symptoms–no sleep, heart palpitations, bleeding after sex, weight gain. Naturally, she made an appointment with her doctor. After sharing her concerns and asking for guidance, he looked at her and replied:

“Well, there’s not much we can do. You are the three F’s.”

“The three F’s?” She asked.

“Fat. Female. Over fifty.”

Joanna Strober, co-founder of Midi Health (listen to our recent conversation on The Tamsen Show), had a similar experience. At the onset of perimenopause symptoms, a word she didn’t even know at the time, she went to doctors looking for help. But she found that they only patchworked her care. When she said she wasn’t sleeping, they recommended a sleep study. When she mentioned anxiety, they prescribed medication. When she opened up about problems in her marriage, they suggested a counselor. It wasn’t until years later that she finally found a doctor who had the knowledge and tools to treat her properly.

“Pretty quickly,” she recalls, “my whole life got better. I was really, very happy because of how much better I felt. But still, I had a lot of anger about the fact that it had taken me so much time to get the right care.”

Maybe you understand that anger, because this is the reality millions of women face. We’re prescribed antidepressants, we’re told it’s just stress, it’s aging, it’s normal. But when half the population goes through menopause and fewer than 20% of OB-GYNs are trained in menopause care, it’s not normal. It’s negligence.

We should be angry that menopause has been kept in the shadows. We should be angry that we’ve had to whisper about symptoms, struggle to find community, and crowdsource medical advice in Facebook groups because the people we trusted to care for us weren’t trained to.

Our anger is a natural reaction, not an outburst. In fact, buried inside it is something powerful: the demand to be seen, to be taken seriously, and the desire to take action.

That’s exactly what Joanna Strober did with her anger. Instead of accepting the system as it was, she decided to change it.

Joanna Strober is the co-founder of Midi Health, the fastest-growing virtual care clinic providing specialized treatment for women in midlife. I’m so excited to bring you this episode because not only is Joanna doing the work to give women the care they deserve, but her life and career are an inspiring story of confidence, resilience and strength.

From working in venture capital to building a $1B women’s health startup, Joanna learned how to move through fear and rejection with strength, how to pivot when doors close, and how to carve new opportunities not only herself, but for women all over the world.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What it takes to build a billion-dollar company
• The daily habits of highly successful people
• What to do when you realize you’re on the wrong career path
• Mindset shifts to overcome career setbacks

Plus, we discuss:

• The future of women’s health and telemedicine
• The gaps in (peri)menopause and midlife healthcare
• The changing conversation around weight management, obesity, and GLP-1’s

There is so much wisdom to gain from Joanna in this conversation. I can’t wait to hear what you think.