The Hair Conversation Women Are Still Too Afraid to Have

I want to talk about something that still carries more shame than it should: hair loss.

Because when your hair starts changing, it rarely feels small.

For me, it felt like losing a version of myself I had known for decades. And what surprised me most was how quickly I started questioning myself.

Was I doing something wrong? Was it stress? Was it aging?

That’s why my conversation with dermatologist Dr. Michelle Henry felt so important.

She shared a statistic that stopped me in my tracks: nearly 40–50% of women experience hair loss during perimenopause or menopause.

And here’s what most women don’t realize: Hair loss isn’t always about what you’re doing to your hair, sometimes it’s an inside job.

Hormonal shifts change oil production and hydration. Stress pushes hair into shedding phases. Even aggressive dieting or sudden metabolic changes can trigger loss because the body redirects energy away from hair growth.

One of the most helpful things Dr. Henry explained was the difference between hair loss and hair breakage.

Hair loss is changes happening inside the follicle, while hair breakage is damage from heat, styling, or products.

She recommends three starting steps:

1. Pay attention to patterns. If you’re losing close to 100 hairs a day consistently, it may be time to talk to a dermatologist.

2. Focus on what supports growth internally. Protein, omega-3 fats, and stress regulation matter more than miracle shampoos.

3. Stop blaming yourself.

Hair loss is often framed as something women caused through styling, aging, or not doing enough. But what I heard over and over in this conversation is that hair is often the messenger, not the problem.

There are treatments worth exploring from topical minoxidil to PRP to red light therapy, but the biggest shift starts with education instead of fear.

The truth is, this conversation isn’t just about hair, it’s about identity. And learning how to care for ourselves differently as our bodies change.

If this is something you’ve been navigating quietly, I hope this episode helps you feel informed instead of overwhelmed.

Watch The Hair Loss Doctor: What Works (And What’s a Waste) on The Tamsen Show.