I'm not afraid of this term. Like I want freedom. Freedom is my number one value. And so many women that I've met, they want to build businesses that don't swallow them up. What does freedom mean to you?For me, freedom is being able to do what I want, when I want, with whom I want, and not worry about looking on the right side of the menu. Welcome back to The Tamsen Show. I have known today's guest for like a hundred years. She helped me make sense of my business in so many phases of my life, and I don't know if she even knows that. Today, if you're listening to this and thinking about how do I move into my next chapter, you are going to be getting tools that have not only worked for me, but for millions of women out there, one of the biggest fears that I had making the jump from news anchor to advocate a few years ago is that I was going to be behind, that my gut was wrong, and that this new life I was creating was going to be more consuming than the career I was already in.And now in the past year, I've put out a book, had live events, built this podcast, and put out two documentaries. And honestly, I feel like right now, I'm kind of back at that now what feeling some days. So today, we're going to learn how to move forward intentionally. So the next chapter actually supports your life instead of consuming it. And that's why my guest today is Marie Forleo.
Marie is a New York Times best-selling author of Everything is Figure Outable. It's a phrase that has become a mantra for so many women out there, including me, because I say it like at least once a week to myself when I'm dealing with something. Marie been helping women build businesses with her for more than two decades. And what sets her apart is that she's never talked about success as doing more or hustling harder. She talks about how to design a life and a business that's sustainable and livable.
Today, we're going to learn her mindset shifts and practical tools you can use right now to help you make decisions without panic. So whether you're starting something new, changing how you work, trying to figure out what's next, I'm so excited for this conversation. Morgan Forleo, I'm so happy you're here. I have been really looking forward to this. I have been looking forward to this.
First of all, I love you and adore you so much and I'm so appreciative. Like we've known each other truly for like a hundred years, a long time. And I just got to say like I'm sitting here watching you do your magic and I just I become in awe of anyone who's so good and you are one of those people. You are just phenomenal. Thank you.
Thank you for that. It means a lot. You know, we we met in another world, you know, I mean, years we were very young. Well, not that young. I mean, we were we're still young, I guess, right?
But we we met when we were, you know, starting out in our careers and have transitioned into a lot of, you know, a lot of different things. But the one thing I've always admired about what you've done is you were very clear with your messaging and very clear that it was about helping women, women and men, but but women find this freedom for themselves. And I think it was something that we were never taught, like I was never taught to talk about money out loud or figure out frameworks. So before we get started with all this, I want to talk about where you are right now and what this chapter of your life looks like because it looks pretty great from the outside. I said when you walked in, you have this sense of calm that a lot of people we don't we don't have and and it it's kind of contagious.
Oh, thank you. Well, I'll tell you it's it's definitely hard one. You know, I've been doing this, meaning some version of working with people for like 25 years. And when I say that number, I'm like, "OMG, how did the time go that fast?" And there's been so many iterations of it. And I'll say, and I'll be the first one, I think, you know, that feeling of panic, that feeling of, "Oh my god, I'm behind.
That feeling of if I don't push myself harder and harder and harder, I'm never going to get to where I need to get to." Not only have I had that at so many places in my career, but I find that even now if I am tired, if I haven't slept well, if I haven't eaten well, if I'm just off somehow emotionally or something's not really aligned, those feelings come right back in. And so now I see them more as a signal that I need to take better care of this vessel because then I get reggrounded and I'm able to operate from a different place. And I know we were talking a little bit backstage about this and I love that. And one of the things that has really come clear to me in the past few years is that feeling of panic, that feeling of behind, that feeling of overwhelm, that feeling like if you don't push harder and harder and if you're not on every platform and you're not doing all the things everywhere all at once 24/7, 365. When you break that down and ask yourself, what's that really about?
What I've discovered is it's really about fear and scarcity. Yeah. That somehow there's not enough, that there's not enough for you, that there's not enough success, that somehow you won't get to where you ultimately need to go, that other people are going to get it rather than you. And there's it's just this whole show, to be honest, that's rooted in not enoughness. Yeah.
And it's so devastating. It's so painful. It is awful for our nervous systems. Not to mention, it is not true. Well, that's the big part of it.
The fact that it's not true. And I love hearing you say that because I think somebody is listening right now and saying like, "But Marie, you built this hu you built BChool. Like you are BChool. You built something that is helping millions of women. How did you do all that and not have, you know, have that fear?" But I think what I've seen and this is from the outside obviously and we we talked a little bit about it earlier, but what I've seen is that you you've grown that and you've gotten calmer the bigger things get for you.
And I think that's pretty remarkable. If someone's listening right now and goes, "Yeah, I feel I feel the show." Yes, I feel the fear. I feel like everyone's ahead. I feel like, you know, I'm on Instagram scrolling at midnight when I can't fall asleep and everybody did what my idea was 5 years ago that I Yeah. Right.
You you laugh because we've all done it. All myself included. So, I mean, I'm raising my hand and I think we can all relate to that. So, I want to say one that I'm definitely not immune to it. And now I have figured out some tools, some frameworks, some ideas that we're going to talk about in just a moment.
But I don't want anyone listening or watching right now to think like I'm some special little snowflake over here that is immune to all that crap because I am not. But one of my I mean B school anything I've created Marie TV the book everything that I've done that I've found to be valuable to other people is usually always created out of my own pain which includes this conver like anything I'll share here I love that as an offering to say hey here might be some little lifelines if this framework or even the thought of it can help you get out of the shitow that we all find ourselves in please use it and run with it tweak it and make it better but I think when I look at what you've done like Marie TV for example Yes. How long have you been doing that? Oh my goodness. So, it's like since like 2009 or 10.
You were so far ahead of everybody with that. That's podcasting essentially. Yes. However many years ago, right? It is.
But I I will say this and I want to balance this. I've been doing it a long time. And I think longevity is one of my superpowers, but I'm certainly not the biggest. I'm certainly not the most popular. Like I was just recently in Dubai at this creators conference with 35,000 attendees.
Oh my gosh. [snorts] And one of the kind of headliners was a gentleman called Mr. Beast, right? The person who has the most apparent influence in the world, the most subscribers, the most whoever like my numbers are tiny compared to a person like that. However, what I've learned over time is like I am running my own race. And what I mean by that, it's not even a race.
It's like my God-given gifts are here to have a particular expression. And I've learned painfully that anytime I start looking to the right or left and I see someone who's more popular, who's got more influence, who's probably got more success, more money, more fame, you can go down the line and I start deviating from what feels good or true to me. I always fall in my face. I always feel like and I never get great results. And when you've made that mistake a few times, which I have, I have too.
I then try to learn to do better to go see still don't work Marie see still don't work and so now thankfully I just turned 50. Happy birthday. Congratulations. I love it. Welcome.
I'm really excited about it because I finally feel a sense of real rootedness in my own path and journey. And a couple of things that I want to share. I want to talk about this idea called simplify to amplify which actually saved me early on in my career when I was feeling pulled and stretched so thin and you know I had this idea for a coaching business way back in the day before coaching was even a thing. Yeah. You you were I remember 23 you were so weren't you doing weren't you dancing?
Yes. I had simal career. So I was also like I coined this phrase because it was the only way to make sense of what I felt about myself that did not fit into a traditional mold. So just for some context, I was super passionate about personal development. I was super passionate about small business development.
My dad was a small business owner. I loved marketing. I loved spirituality. I loved writing. I loved speaking.
I loved dance and fitness. And every time people are like, "Well, you got to pick one thing and do it." And all the success books out there were about choosing one thing and becoming so good at it and then waiting 10 years and then maybe people would know you for it. When I tried to follow traditional success advice, I felt like I was cutting off a limb. And I remember I was bartending at the time and I was pursuing dance, which made no sense cuz I have no dance training at 25. I was building this life coaching business which sounded so weird and cheesy and no one had ever heard of it, but I loved the idea of supporting people so much.
And people would ask me when I was bartending, "So, what else do you do? Are you an actress?" And one day, I feel like I got a gift from the divine. And the phrase that popped into my brain was, "I'm a multi-passionate entrepreneur." You coined that phrase. Yes, I know. I remember.
I remember saying to someone that, you know, across the bar and I was like, "Well, what does that mean?" And then I started telling him about all of my dance and fitness and the hip-hop and sign up for my coaching newsletter. Like, it gave me this whole new context to see myself. Anyway, fast forward a few years when I was doing coaching programs. I had kind of left the world of fitness and I was finally starting to make money doing this thing that I was so passionate about, which took me like seven or eight years. But then an interesting thing happened, Tamsen.
The very business that I was so excited to grow started killing me. So, I was making money for the first time, more money than I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime. But I was becoming miserable because there were no more hours in the day no matter how hard I tried to push myself. Right. So I had this mastermind program.
I was doing a live event every year called Rich Happy and Hot cuz I was sassy AF. Still am. It's so funny. I remember all this. Of course.
I remember your first book. Yes. Make every man Want You. How to make Every Want You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself. Wait.
Say it again. So my first book was Make Every Man Want You or Make Yours Want You More. How to be so damn irresistible you'll barely keep from dating yourself. It was like a dating book and it was all about being present. But I knew as a marketer and a a marketing student at that time that if I you know wrote a book at 24 called how to be present, no one would buy it.
No, of course. Anywh who back to this moment when I just couldn't get any more hours in the day and I had a super tiny team. I had two people on. I said guys you know we're making money but this business is going to kill me. And what we did was something that changed the game for me forever.
And I'm actually redoing it now at this stage in my career. Wow. Which is to take a step back and to do an audit of every single thing I was doing. And I took a look at all the activities that were bringing revenue into the business. And I evaluated them.
What was the profit? What was the topline revenue? What was the profit? But this was the piece that most people miss. It's not just about those numbers.
I also to look took a look energetically. Which of the revenue streams were bringing me joy? [clears throat] Which were bringing me dread? Which were the things that I was doing in the business that was just a total strain on my team and myself cognitively, emotionally. And when I had that entire matrix built out, it became clear to me that if I didn't start taking things off my plate that I would burn out and quit. I think that's so hard.
Was that a real hard honest look at things? Because you know if I I was just while you were saying it I'm like what could I take off my plate and then I go I can't do that I got to put that back on. Well how did you do how did you get real brutally honest cuz that's a that caused that is something you have to be brutally honest about. You do and you have to have a bit of a north star. So at that point in my career it was I wanted something that could scale because I kept hitting a limit ceiling wise and for me I make no apologies about this.
I did not grow up with a lot of money and when I started my business I was pretty deep in debt. So a big goal of mine was to have financial freedom. And so when I evaluated all of my activities in terms of revenue and profit and how much it was taking me to produce that, it became painfully clear that for example doing this live event every year, I would spend six to seven months myself and my team putting it together. But because I'm a maniac and didn't want to live stream, which wasn't even really a thing at that time, there was a cap on how many people I could have. I'm like, this is dumb.
Then I had something else where I was working with just a small handful of women and it was a really kind of premiumbric type of offer, but still it was limiting the amount of people I could impact. And a message in my heart that felt really true to me was that for whatever reason I was meant to scale in terms of how can I change as many lives as possible? Not scale meaning I need to be famous, but how can I use my gifts in a way that can really help the most people I can while I'm on the planet. So that was a really big north star that scale piece. Now was that the B school that that came out?
That exactly B school was a baby then but there were and B school is online business school for modern entrepreneurs who want to make money and make a difference. And then that's it's it opens up once a year. It opens up once a year which we'll talk about in a minute but this context is important. The other thing that I was doing at that time that was a baby was Marie TV. So out of like the 10 things I was doing, the only two that had the ability to reach many people, Marie TV was there and it was free.
And I was like, look, even if people can't affording to work with me on some level is not part of their financial reality right now, I still want to use my gifts to help others. So I need focus on Marie TV. And then the other program B school which was new I was like oh my goodness if I could teach these frameworks to at that time other women entrepreneurs because that was the majority of my audience. The the content is not gender specific but that's just who I attracted. I said if I can get this out in a major way I have the ability to get the freedom I want the profit I want the scale and the impact.
So that's how I weaned off that list. And let me tell you something. I killed revenue streams that equaled over a million dollars, which was terrifying. Remember you were saying like, "How do you do this? This is hard." Tam, I was freaking out.
Like a million bucks was more than I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime. So I felt sick to my stomach. My friends thought I was bonker pants. Like all of my colleagues were like, "Why are you walking away from these offers that are good? You just need to hire more team." I was like, "Dude, this vessel is not meant for that.
I am fried." What did you feel to know that? What were you feeling with your body? What I was feeling was every night having so much anxiety trying to go to sleep. I felt like a fraud. I felt like maybe I'm a kind of good life coach, but I suck as an entrepreneur.
I was feeling depleted, angry, and all of the joy that I had around the idea of coaching or working with people was start was like out the door. So, the thing that I loved was starting to get destroyed because I hadn't set myself up right. I hear a lot of people say that like I'm I feel like a fraud doing this or they're going to they're going to find out that I don't really I mean, look, I was a TV news anchor 30 years. I'm like, I hope they don't find out. I don't know how to read the news.
Yes, I said that up until year 30. Yes. How did you get beyond that phrase and that thought about yourself? Well, I think what it came down to was getting really sober about the fact that I the way I had structured things was unsustainable. It was coming face to face with the fact that I am not a machine.
You know, it was like 2010 2011. And I really had to practice this idea called simplify to amplify. Simplify to amplify. Simplify to amplify. I needed to pull things off of my list that were draining my battery, draining my energy, draining me cognitively, and that honestly weren't helping me hit the kind of financial emotional impact goals.
I was like, "That's not going to get me there. I can do math. Let me do some simple math." So simplify to amplify was it. But then the other piece of it was too was being really honest about where I needed support. So I'm a visionary.
I'm a creative. I'm not the most fantastic operator. I can do it. Meaning if I put my head down, I will do whatever it takes to make something happen. Everything is figure outable.
I'm not afraid of hard work. But in terms of hiring people, managing people, managing the day-to-day, I was like not cut out for that. So I made it my mission to find that person who could run alongside of me so that I could be in my genius zone and she or he, it wound up being a she, could be in hers and then we could we could do things together. So I really needed to build out a team. I think that's so important.
And you know when you say simplify to amplify I think of it in the business sense and I also think of it in the constructs of real life just life. If somebody's listening goes okay I already know what my business is but I feel that time pull all over the place in my life. So let's go into simply amplify. Yes. Right baby.
And here let's put it in context. Simplify whatever the complexity is to amplify your happiness, your joy, your well-being, your financial freedom, your time freedom. So, you can take this little simple idea and you can apply it to anything. What somebody can do today that's listening that says, "Hey, I feel all that. I didn't sleep this whole week because I'm so anxious or I have no more joy.
I can't find it." What do you suggest they do first? A really simple action step is to do something that I call a stress log. And again, this was born out of me like losing my mind and wanting to pull my hair out, which is sit down and write down everything that's stressing you out, everything that you're doing. And it could be from the moment you wake up till the moment you go to sleep. It could be what you do in your business, in your life over the course of a week.
And then just start evaluating things like this is the thing. Oh my goodness. Like if this could come off my list, if I could hire this out, if I could just erase it, disappear it, stop doing it, drop it. Like you feel like the clouds would part and the angels would be like like I have my life back. So, a simple stress log, first of all, it gets things out of your brain and onto the page where there's a little bit of what's called self-distancing in the personal development world.
And it makes it a lot easier to not take something personally and then to start approach it from an everything is figure outable solution framework where you're like, for instance, I had someone that worked for me for many years. She was brilliant. She had a small child, you know, demanding life, and she realized she hated laundry. Like, I know it sounds so simple, but it was the one thing where she didn't mind cooking dinner, this, that, and the other thing. She's like, I freaking I hate laundry.
You're allowed to swear, right? I hate laundry. So, I remember working with her on this. She's like, "Wait, I could really hire someone for like 20 bucks an hour, you know what I mean, to just come and do this one thing?" It sounds so trit and simple, but it freed up so much guilt, cognitive bandwidth, and she was like, "This is the best like 40 bucks I could spend a week to spend more time with my kid to actually be nicer." Doing a stress log, writing it down, I think, is Midi, the care women deserve. I want to go back to something you said because you said it very like matter of fact and I think it was and I not I noted that you were talking about where you were in Dubai and Mr.
Beast was on the stage and you know Mr. Beast if you haven't heard of him he's like look look him up on YouTube you're going to find you know the you you'll have it on your YouTube algorithm forever. Yeah. And you said well he has more followers than me and he has this than me but I know who I am. Yes.
And you said it very matterof fact, but I don't know that everybody could say it very matterof fact. They might say, "Gosh, I can't wait to get to that, and that's when I know I'm going to be successful." Yes. So, how did you get out of that scarcity to the the air the other side of scarcity is abundance? Well, I think remembering I always try and go back to what feels true in my body and true in my heart. So, I'm a big believer that all of us have body truths, body wisdom, if you want to call it higher intelligence, kind of divine intelligence.
I feel like mine lives in my in my heart. And when it speaks to me and I I get messages and it's not like an audible voice in my head, but close to it. It's like very very clear directives, that intelligence and that wisdom never makes me feel afraid. It never makes me feel stressed out. And when I listen to it, I'm always like, "Holy I did not know my life in business could be this good." So the way that I got there was again stepping off my path.
I remember I'll give you one concrete example. It was years ago and a colleague of mine, like a super dear friend of mine had like had her own little jewelry line. Like it was like a co-branded thing. And I was like, I want that. Like and it wasn't envy in a bad way, but it was like a small little thing.
I was like, "Oh, that's so cool. I should do that, too." And I remember I figured it out and I made it happen. And Tamsen, let me tell you, it was a beautiful experience. However, it wound up being such a freaking time suck. And from the money and the energy, do you know what I mean?
I was like, it kind of took me what am I doing here? Again, it was fine, but I was like, look at what happened. Look at all of the time and energy and hoopla because you got a little envious or you know what I mean? You got shiny object syndrome with something. And I've done that maybe a half a dozen times.
So for me, thankfully, I usually don't learn things on the first try, but if I fall down enough and I have enough pain, I do wake up. I No, I get it. You I mean, I get that. I didn't even know you did that. Yes, that's what I mean.
It was like it was a little campaign. It was a little something I did. And again, it was wonderful and I loved who I worked with. But when I stepped back and looked at the bigger landscape of what things give me the most juice, where I get not only the most financial return but emotional satisfaction, it's always been from doing something different that has come for I'll give you an example. So everything is figure outable this book.
It came out in 2019 and I remember my publisher was being like okay Murray so like how do we want to launch the book and I had this download which was what if we had the combination of a Beyonce concert, a TED talk and a block party and everyone at the publishers house was like what the is this girl talking about? And I was just like just trust me. Cut to us having this incredible book launch. It was the Hammerstein Ballroom. We built out sets.
It was the most incredible thing I've ever experienced. And it was one of the most satisfying, impactful events of my entire life that came from watching no one besides like obviously loving Beyonce or do you know what I mean? Like you did it in your head. It was your I always call it my shower moment. Yes.
Like my shower moment was a world's hottest menopause party which I said I I laughed about it at first and then I executed it and I was like And you knocked it out of the park. I loved it though. I just loved it. It was like I I could do it every day, you know. I got chills.
I got chills. So, every I remember that event that you had. I remember that. I remember watching you. I don't know why I remember this.
I don't It was a video you put up or something. It was like watching you from behind getting up on stage. It was like a behind the scenes of you getting miked up and I went, "Holy I I didn't even know she could dance like that." Like, I just remember it being so amazing. It was so amazing. Like, I popped out of a toaster.
Do you know what I mean? Like like a stage poster. I was like, "Who am I?" But it was so fun and I made connections. I when I was just in Dubai, there was people there that were at my book launch or like I had to fly in from around the world to see you do this crazy ass thing. But everyone listening or watching right now, you have these ideas in you.
You have these possibilities. And whether it's about your career or about a life adventure or something in your relationship that you want to experience, I want you to listen to those impulses. For me, those are your signals from your higher self or your soul guiding you on your destiny. And if you're starting to pay attention, compare, I call it compare schlloer because it's like doing shots of this awful leour that I did shots of when I was in college called Gold Schloger. Do you remember that Of course I do.
It's like clear liquid with the gold flakes. Exactly what it is. I threw up in so many bushes over that stuff. But compare schlagger is the equivalent of comparing yourself online and then you spend days if not weeks feeling like you are hung over because you feel like less like everyone else has got it together and it's such and you just suck you and you don't we talked about this before we came on and you made a really good point we had and I never thought of it quite like this but we were so lucky to be in a world right before social yes and working and doing all those things and I and I always think of it like oh gosh what would life been like if I had all that stuff and one side of me goes that life would have been so easy I think life would have been really hard too. Yes.
So, we've seen it with, you know, both ways, which is really interesting. Yeah. And I also think, too, I joke with my team about this. Sometimes I think the '9s were amazing cuz that like the music for the '90s, like I'm never going to not have my R&B playlist, but I live like I'm in the '9s a lot of the time. So, I I don't spend a ton of time on social.
Like, I love creating content, but I've constructed it so my team helps put it out there and execute. And then I go into DMs. I go on commando missions. So my team lets me know when there's like someone who is a legit contact or someone who I should be. You know what I mean?
Of course. And then I get out. It's like I don't spend a ton of time on YouTube because I'm a YouTuber. Do do you know what I mean? Like it's like I think that's a really good lesson for people though because I think they think they have to you don't inundate themselves.
You do not have to inundate yourselves. There are ways that you can create containers for you to engage. And you know, I was talking with another creator about this. And she was like, "But Marie, I make so much money on Instagram." I said, "That's fine, but you can still put guard rails up that protect your mental and emotional health." And let's be clear, the reason I'm not in there, I don't feel good when I'm in there because I'm as susceptible as the next person to if I'm on the feed enough, I'm going to start thinking to myself like, "Wow, I I look like Oh, I must not be doing enough. Oh, wow.
Gosh, like look at him. Look at her. Look at this. It's the human brain. It is a human brain and and they're designed to make us feel that way just to be clear and to and to not stop like to keep going.
Correct. So, let's talk about everything is figure outable because we know it's the mantra. I also know if you by the way if you we're going to link to the book, but I I think everyone should read this book for a number of reasons. First, you're hilarious. But second, it's very actionable and it's timeless.
And I think that that I don't think there's a lot of books that are timeless like that. And I know that this one is. But you start with the story of your mom. Yes. With the orange clock, right?
Is it a clock or alarm clock? Radio. You want me to tell that radio? I think you need to because I've always every time I see you, I think of your mom in the orange clock. That's how good that story was.
But I think that that's where that mantra came from. It is. And I I'd love for you to just like a quick Yeah. 100%. So my mom is this really unique character. She's about 5'4.
She looks like June Cleaver. She curses like a truck driver, which is where I get it from. And she's got just the tenacity of a bulldog. And she learned by necessity how to like stretch a dollar bill around the block. So, she grew up in the projects of North, New Jersey, and two alcoholic parents.
And she had made a promise to herself that when she grew up, she was going to find a way to make a better life. And one of my favorite recipes with my mom was Sundays in New Jersey, sitting around a kitchen table, and she was clipping coupons, right? And she loved showing me all the ways that we could save money. And one of the other things that she would do, do you remember proofs of purchase? Of course.
So for anyone who is younger, you might not know this, but brands, you know, you could cut out the back of a carton, you could cut out something, you could save them all up, mail them in, and get like a cookbook or utensil, right? And so one of my mom's favorite items ever was this tiny little AM FM radio. It was shaped like an orange. It has little dimples. It had a red and white straw sticking out of the side and she got it from Tropicana Orange juice.
And music is big in my family. So I remember always coming home and I would hear this tiny little radio blasting like Whitney Houston like every woman. So one day I came home and I remember like hearing music blasting from away. And as I got closer to my house, the music was coming from this odd orientation. It was coming from above.
And I look up and I see my mom perched precariously on the roof of our two-story house. No ladder, no nothing. I was like, "Oh my god." I like, "Mom, are you okay?" And she was like, "Re, I'm fine." She's like, "Look, the roof had a leak." I called the roofer. He said, "It's going to be at least 500 bucks." I said, "Screw that. I'm going to do it myself." I love her.
Come home from school another day. I get in the house and the music is blasting from the back and I walk and it's in the bathroom and I push open the door and it looks like a freaking bomb went off, right? There's like dust everywhere. There's pipes sticking out of the wall. I was like, "Mom, are you okay?
What's going on?" And she was like, "Oh, everything's fine." and she's like, "You know, I saw some cracks in the tiles in the bathroom and I wanted to retile everything so it wouldn't get moldy." Now, you got to understand this 80s. It's like before YouTube, I This is like pre Google, preyou, pre- everything. And my mom has a high school education. So, one day I come home from school and it's the fall and you know, it's dark, right? Daylight savings, it's spooky out.
I'm approaching the house, Italian-American house, it's dark and it's quiet. These are two [clears throat] terrible things in my world. I go in and I had that pit in my stomach. I'm like, "Something's not right." Yeah, something's wrong. Where's my mom?
Where's radio? [snorts] And then I hear some clicks and clacks and they're coming from the kitchen. And I go over there and I see my mom hunched over the kitchen table which looked like an operating room. One light on. And then on the table spread out, it's like electrical tape, screwdrivers, and a completely dismantled Tropicana orange radio. The orange.
Yeah. I was like, "Mom." I was like, "Are you okay? It's like your favorite thing." She looks up and she's like, "Re I'm fine." She's like, "The antenna was a little off and the dial wasn't working, so I'm fixing it." So, I stood there, my arms crossed, and I finally thought to ask her the question I should have always asked, which was this. I was like, "Hey, ma, how do you know how to do so many things that you never did before, but nobody's showing you how to do it?" And she puts her screwdriver down. He's like, "Re, nothing in life is that complicated if you roll up your sleeves, you get in there, and you do it.
Everything is figure outable." and Tamsen and I was like like I was that phrase like everything is figure outable like everything is figure outable and I swear to you it kind of planted this seed in me because I watched both my mom and my dad throughout my entire life who again nobody went to college so they are just the kind of people who are fearless when it comes to figuring any little thing out like fixing washing machines do you like anything that was what you had to do that's what we did. And so that philosophy like I use it every single day. Like when I love that story so much because I I think it just gave me a visual for it and then it gives you this like piece of like this calm for a second like okay so now I just need to figure out the solution. I don't need to worry about the problem. Correct.
And that's the difference. And look, you're not always going to have the I don't always have the answer, but when the shiakei hits the fan in life, which it does all the time for all of us in every domain, you can cry in your cereal for a minute normal. I do too. And then it's like, okay, this shit's figure outable. You know, who do I need to call?
How do I need to think? What do I need to do next? And sometimes what you need to do next, like I sometimes pray. I ask for guidance. Sometimes I call a friend.
Sometimes I need to take a drink of water and take a nap. There's so many things that we might need to do, but if you have that frame of mind and you put yourself like what do I need to do right now and you pause and you listen, you'll get the answer. Let's talk about that pausing for a minute because we were talking about what you have started doing and I don't know is there a is there a name of it or how you're doing it but I think it's important. So, I I I've been talking to folks about this, especially for women. Like, I've noticed in myself, I've run so much of my life doing a gajillion things at hyper speed all the time, non-stop, feeling this sense of fear that if I don't move faster, I'm going to fall behind that no one moves as fast as me and like, get out of my way.
I don't think there's any woman listening that couldn't doesn't feel like that every once in a while because I I feel like if I stop maybe this is a New York thing too, but if I feel like I stop, someone's going to run over me from behind. Like that's what I think that's the New York groove, right? There's a part of that, but there's also this too. And again, I think this comes down to fear, scarcity, and for me it was actually, not to get too deep, but I can feel it was some childhood trauma to be perfectly honest with you. I I could agree with that.
It's also this. I had the narrative that if I slow down, if I take my foot off the pedal, Yeah. For one minute, everything I've worked so hard for is going to backslide and I'm going to be back in debt. It like this just primal fear that if I am not producing and pushing that everything's going to disappear. I I feel like if I take my foot off the the the gas for one second, it's all going to go away.
It's all going to go away. I know. It's a hard thing to say too and admit to I mean it's it's it's a hard thing when you you know it in your mind but when you say it out loud it's like for me I realized that I was actually placing a little too much importance on myself and feeling like I had to carry everything because that's always what I've had to do in my life. That was at least the narrative that I was taking forward. And it wasn't until life brought me to my knees a few times where I had to pause, especially in these most recent years where I actually started reaching for something beyond myself and the pressure started to let up and I started to flex more of my faith.
And this is the thing that we were talking about that I want to make sure I articulate. I've actually become what I feel to myself as 10 to 100 times more powerful by slowing down 10 to 15%. What's 10 to 15%. For me, I slow down literally my speech. Like Josh, my partner, we've been together 22 years going on 23 years shortly.
Congratulations. I know. Thank you. I can't believe it. He's amazing and he's patient AF because and talented AF.
I am also I I'm like, brother, you have put up with a lot. This this being is a lot and I am not always that nice. I will admit. You know what I mean? And in relationships are difficult.
Joshua talked to Ira. Yes. He you know what I mean? Powerful women. We I have many different sides.
So I slow down my speech. I slow down my speech with him. I slow down my actions. Like even going around my kitchen. I notice sometimes I'm like I am so tightly wound up that I'm like my supplements.
And you know what I mean? Like banging into creating bruises. I'm like who what kind of what am I thinking I'm going to get to? What am I? Yeah, that's exactly right.
What's what how fast do like what operating system am I running right now? It's terrible for my nervous system. All the work I'm doing to preserve my collagen and keep it looking cute, I'm destroying that with all the stress. It's like practically flushing money down the drain. Yeah, this shit's expensive.
Do you know what I mean? That is expensive. And I just realized and I started experimenting with slowing down 10 to 15% for me. So for you it might be I was talking with another woman. She's like, I think I need 25%.
I was going to say, I think I need more. Marie, trust your body. Like play with it as an experiment. Slow down your speech. Slow down your actions.
Challenge that assumption. Challenge that inner narrative that if you're not constantly rushing and racing and running that something's going to fall apart. I guarantee you it won't. And what I've discovered for myself is I actually my intuition is louder. My presence is stronger.
My energy is higher. I'm so much more clear. I feel like my brain has come back online in a way that I have been missing probably for close to a decade. Do you have to consciously think about it now or is it second nature? It's starting to get second nature.
If I am emotionally tweaked, if I'm tired, if I'm hungry, if something if something caught me, if I if I bit a hook, right? If I if I bit a hook, that's that's good. If some insecurity, you know, if I got some little boo boo inside and somebody touched it or I exposed myself to something that touched it, that's when I can feel the fire up again. But that's fear and that's scarcity. Yeah.
And so I'm just practicing noticing that and not going all the way down the shoot with it. I I love that because I think it's something we could all do, right? And I think there's a lot of ways to do it. You said you could do it by reaching to get your cup of water. Like it's it's there's a lot.
Slow down the action. Yes. Josh and I have been doing it together, too. I just want to speak into this because there is a while I've had the probably the roughest two and a half years of my life. That's like a whole other conversation.
And my relationship suffered because of it. I was just dealing with so much with my family and it was a crisis. You know, we all find ourselves in these positions where things are really difficult, out of your control and you just got to hang in there and work through it. Anywh who, I noticed that when I slowed down my communication with Josh, I was able to also tune into him on a different level, to not say things in a way that was hurtful, to have him hear me better. It was just like I was like, "This is a freaking superpower." Like, so that's why I've been playing with it more and I'm like, just try it.
Like, try it before you deny it. Experiment with it. See if yours is 30%, 40%, 5%. And see how you feel. Taking that down.
I can I would wager that you're going to find yourself feeling more powerful and ironically getting things done in a more elegant, efficient way without the downstream stress effects. You know, somebody on social was a guy. He was like, "This is my entrepreneurial wife." And he he was making fun of her and he's like, "Where are all my emails? I got to get to my emails. Get me a smoothie.
I got to drink it in a minute." And I and I was laughing about it and then I'm like, "Wait, I'm laughing cuz that's me." Oh, there's truth in that. There's a lot of truth in that. So, if we say to slow down, I mean, you feel it in your nervous system. You feel it in walking, in talking, and checking emails, everything. In everything.
Being with people, like just traveling the other day, like being with everyone from the person that was helping me check in, the person who was helping me get my baggage, the person if there was like a difficulty getting X, Y, or Z food, and just going like, "Hey, how are you today?" Rather than being so obsessed with my own agenda and getting it's like being with the other human. And Tamsen, I'm not kidding you. The most miraculous things of like how they showed up, how satisfied I felt, how connected I felt to my world and everything around me, how much better I'm sleeping, how much less frustration and anxiety I feel, less depression, like miraculous. You purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them The Tamsen Show sent you.
You know, there are a lot of high functioning women where I feel like I'm I try to not be, but I am. You know, I keep going going going. There's a lot of procrastination that goes on in our in our lives. Do you do you have that? And how do you tackle that?
Because I know you you teach a lot of different things. A lot of the things you have are free, pieces of advice. You've got B school, which I think is phenomenal for anybody, even if you're not thinking about starting a business right now. I feel like there are pieces of that that are important. But a lot of times we you know we're paralyzed, we procrastinate and we a year goes by, two years goes by, then somebody else does it.
What do you do when you're facing with facing procrastination? I think procrastination is a really interesting thing. Okay, because there are many different facets of it. And you asked, do I ever procrastinate? Hell yes, I do.
I'm always interested in being curious. Not self-punishing and not self- berating and not self- judging, but being curious about why. Because here's something that I've discovered and I discovered this I'll tell it through a quick story because sometimes procrastination is your friend. There's years ago when I was trying to do a business deal with someone who's quite popular. This person is very wellknown and I had an idea for a collab and he was super interested and we were like going along and we had a contract drawn up and when the contract was going back and forth I just kept finding myself not signing this thing.
Do you I was like, "This is so weird for myself and my team. My team is also very proactive. We get done. We pride ourselves in that." And I was like, "Why is this one contract?" Do you know what I mean? It's like like we couldn't do it.
I'm in it right now in the middle of that. Okay. Yeah. I keep putting it at the bottom of my mailbox. I'm like, "I'm going to get that to tomorrow." All of a sudden, it was like I was about to make this thing just get it done.
And I get a phone call from this person and it was one of the most unprofessional phone calls where there was screaming coming my way that was so I had no idea that this side of this person existed and I literally I was like there is no way on God's green earth that I am going to do business. Sometimes a sign sometimes the fact that you're putting it off is a sign that you should call it off. Say that again. Sometimes the fact that you're putting it off is a sign that you need to call it off. So if you are generally a person who gets something done and there is one thing that you keep feeling resistance on, really slow it down.
Check in with yourself and notice if your intuition is really trying to prevent you from moving ahead on something that your ego wants, but that is really not meant for you because it's going to cost you 10 times 100 times more if you actually say yes to it. So, that's just the unexpected side of procrastination that I don't think we talk about enough. Now, when it comes to other that you're just like, I got to get this done. I feel like there's a gajillion tricks that any of us can use that can help you kind of move past. One of my favorites is if possible, like I remember wanting to work on my first book and I just hired a coach to read my work.
Just having that and it wasn't a ton of money, but just having someone that I was accountable to helped me get over the finish line because it just that money was pain. I wasn't going to waste it. Another thing, and this is one of my favorite things, it's this methodology called this or nothing else. So, let's say that you need to write a newsletter or create a social post. If you put yourself in a room, you remove everything from that room besides the only thing that you need to get done.
And this is the rule. You can only do that one thing or nothing else. Oh my gosh. You can't look at a phone. You can't look or scroll online.
You can't surf the web. You can't make a phone call. And let's say you give yourself an hour, whatever the time frame would be that's appropriate for the task or even to move on the task. You don't even have to complete it, but just get some progress. Right.
It is remarkable how well this works because most of us hate sitting and doing nothing. And if you could keep your word between you and you like it's either this or nothing else. Yeah. You'll make progress. That's different because I feel like I indulge in wasting time sometimes.
Like I I really do. I really find myself indulging in that which is So in our culture right now, especially here in the States, we are so inculturated to be productive 24/7 365, right? And if you have a little guilty pleasure or if you're going around, you know, somewhere online or reading a book or doing something that's like frivolous that it's a guilty pleasure. And I call on that. Okay, good.
I like that. Then I'll I'll take that. I'll tell you this. One of my favorite things, and I talk about this a lot, like I love real estate porn. I just love real estate.
I love looking at it. You're my husband. Oh my god. I love seeing interiors. Like here in Manhattan and New York City, I'm constantly always searching for more light.
Like I just I love it. I don't have a lot of shoes. I don't have a lot of material things, but I really love decor and real estate. And I remember one day I went to an open house and I thought to myself, this is like the stupidest thing. Why am I doing this?
Like, I don't have time for, you know, I had that whole narrative. I should not be doing this right now. Meanwhile, fast forward a little bit. I wound up making a real estate purchase and doing a renovation and all of the bids were coming in from all these different contractors that were crazy expensive. Because the open house I went to, serendipity had it that I got a text message from that broker who introduced me to a contractor who literally saved me Tamsen hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Oh my gosh. It literally came out of the blue at the precise moment that I needed it. And there was no logical explanation for why this connect came through. And I'm telling you, I'm like, "Thank God to pass Marie for indulging in the that felt good when it felt good and quote unquote wasting time on things that brought me joy." I like that permission though. That's we we feel like if we do that, something else is going to pull be pulled out from under us.
No, but I'm telling you, the more I've been experimenting with this stuff of like, how much fun can I have and only saying yes to the things that my body is like? Like, do that's it. Do you feel it now? Do you feel different? Is this Marie different than 10 years ago?
This Marie is so much better than her 10 years ago. It's crazy pants. Like, I'm a little I'm not afraid. I'm like excited. I'm like, strap yourself in.
Put the roll bar down. What else is coming? Because I used to be so high strong and I again I was doing the best that I could that I knew how but now I feel like I know so much more and that it can be so much easier and that's part of what I want to share with people and like oh my god we don't have to kill ourselves. Well let's talk about that. Let's talk about the non-hustle culture because I do think that you are talking about that more than anybody else has and I think some people talk about it but then still do the opposite, right?
Behind closed doors. Behind closed doors. Yeah. And so how do you do that? How do you begin that?
I feel like someone's going, "Okay, Tamsen, you know, I got kids. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I'm, you know, I'm coming up on 50. That's my my next chapter.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I was in this job for 20 years, and I want to start something else. How do I switch over? It's not that easy." Yes. Okay.
Well, first of all, let's be real about it. It's not that easy. No, it's not. It's not that easy. Like, no one's I'm not going to sit here and try and shoot rainbows and unicorns up your butt.
You know what I mean? It's just like It's not quitting your job and seeing what happens next. No. And so one of the things that I've done really well in my career, and I'm very proud of this, we've helped over 80,000 people start and grow businesses. And the vast majority of those humans are women.
So I know very intimately how challenging it is because we are still the ones that are responsible for everything. Most often the breadwinners, very often the breadwinners, you know, and whether it's kids, spouses, parents, everything in between, we often take on it all. Did those women start with an idea? Some of them did. Like we've had people come through our doors specifically around B school that are just like I don't know I just know I'm supposed to be an entrepreneur like but I know I'm supposed to do this.
How do I come up with ideas and we help them create ideas, vet their ideas, test their ideas and start making money. And then we have a lot of people that show up that have been in that side hustle for a while or running a small business but they hit a plateau and they're like shit's not working but I know it could work. Like I need some help. So we do well with both of those populations and it doesn't matter where you're starting. If you have a desire to make your thing work and you're not someone who's like, I need to raise a gajillion dollars in venture capital, like if you need to do that, I'm not your person, right?
But if you're someone who's a kitchen table, garage scrappy, bootstrappy person, I'm your girl. I think that knowing that you want to go on this entrepreneurial journey and being able to be willing to define what success looks like for you, that's probably step one. Mh. And then we can teach you the frameworks. We can teach you how to do it simply.
We can teach you how to do it. And I'm not afraid of this term. Like I want freedom. Freedom is my number one value. And so many women that I've met, they want to build businesses that don't swallow them up.
What does freedom mean to you? For me, freedom is being able to do what I want when I want with whom I want and not worry about looking on the right side of the menu. Like, do you know what I mean? Because I used to. I know.
I know. And so I didn't even look at a menu. We We didn't go to restaurants, you know? We didn't totally when you look at that and we've got women that are, you know, juggling a thousand things and maybe this is their next chapter of their lives, right? So, it's something they've wanted to do for a long time.
I guess where do you begin with that? Where do you begin with helping them? Because the frameworks I want people to feel like it's it's not that frightening or intimidating because I for one don't have a business background. I'm a journalist. Neither do I.
I don't have a business background either. Yeah. I had no idea. And so, but but that's what I like that you teach because I'm not afraid of what you teach. I'd be afraid if someone told me to go get my master's degree.
It would also be wildly at this point, I think, largely outdated for many of us, not all of us, but it would also cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars and like tons of time. So, I think starting and knowing that you have an idea for a product or a service and if it's really rooted in wanting to make a difference to people, whatever that product or service or idea is, I think that's the starting line. If you have that, if your heart's in the right place, we can teach you all the frameworks. Like you don't have to learn to become the world's best entrepreneur. But you do need to understand in my opinion something about modern marketing, sales, digital marketing to be able to do this.
Because here's the great news. It is easier than ever. The tools have never been this accessible. Audiences have never been this accessible. And here's what's cool.
You don't need a gajillion followers or fans in order to have a highly successful and profitable and freedom based business. And that's what I really want people to hear. It takes a lot of courage to be able to define what success looks like for you, but we help you do that. And then we just teach you how to get your attention off yourself and like, oh, what are people gonna think of me? And really stay focused in a really smart business sense, how to define your ideal customer, how to create offers for them that they'll be like, oh my god, where have you been all my life?
Here's my credit card. And how to build relationships and trust in a really genuine way in this very strange online world that feels very good to your heart, that feels authentic to your values, and that has you execute in a way where you feel proud of what you're creating. Like that's the big thing. Yes. Feeling proud and not feeling like you're schleing or like a snake oiling.
I was just going to say and that's I'm probably like without being an arrogant the best in the world at teaching women that. I agree. I don't think you're an arrogant I think you're brilliant. I think you're the OG of that. Thank you.
There's so many things I don't know how to do. There's so many things I'm not good at. But this particular piece, you do it in such an elevated way. I have to tell you that. Do you think that people should be looking at more than one revenue stream right now?
You know what? I think it depends. I think it depends on what kind of business that you have. Like you know if you're running an ecom business and you're selling clothing versus someone who's got a software business versus someone who has services like if they're a massage therapist you know what I mean I think it really depends on the context and it also depends on this what's your bandwidth yeah meaning like how much support if any do you have what's your comfortability with technology I.e E AI or anything else. So I never like to give a blanket statement because it's so contextual.
And once we understand a few foundational pieces, then we're able to guide you in a much more appropriate way for what's going to match [clears throat] your bandwidth and much going to match your goals. Because what success looks like for you Tamsen right now at this stage and season of your life is probably going to be different than someone who's maybe perhaps in her 70s in a different part of the world or in her 30s and she's got a whole new or a different set of life circumstances to navigate. So I want to talk about dream business boot camp and also I don't know where I remember hearing this and it might have been you on a podcast but you were talking about you are not a clutter person. Oh. And I'm not either.
And I was like, oh, can we talk about that? Because I feel like there's a lot of clutter and noise out there. And I guess that kind of goes into like time genius as well. So, can you talk about your organizational strategies because I'm always looking to have that conversation. So, Dream Business Boot Camp.
So, as we were talking about this program, B school, we've had 80,000 people helped them start and grow their business. I'm always trying to help people get started or at least give them education and frameworks. I'm like, look, if you never even work with me, how can I help you get results? I'm actually addicted to helping people win. I love that.
That's the thing that fires me up inside. So, Dream Business Boot Camp is this free 3-day virtual online boot camp where I'm going to help you, especially if you have a business, go from what I call a scream business, which is makes you want to pull your hair out, there's not enough money or like, should I throw the towel in and quit this damn thing? Into a dream business, which is where your revenue is predictable, where you actually have systems. And like again, nothing is rainbows and unicorns all the time, but where the vast majority of the time you're getting paid what you're worth, and you're building and shaping your business around your ideal lifestyle, not feeling like you're a slave to it. So, Dream Business Boot Camp, it's we help you assess where you are.
I teach you some of my best frameworks to free. So, even if we don't work together, I want you making more money faster because it's possible. There's tons of opportunity in this world, but you got to get over and get out of the chaos and the overwhelm and you need to be focused and you need to have a simple strategy that you can execute. That's so important. And I I think I think about women that are especially in this stage of life.
I'm 55 now and a lot of the women I talk to want to do something that feels good to them. Yes. You know, it feels like it's purposeful and they feel like Yeah. They feel like what you're talking about helping other people or you know, you know, I talk about parmenopause and menopause a lot. But that moves into reinvention and and they want to help other people do this but don't know where to begin themselves.
Yeah. Come to Dream Business. Okay. So, when does that starts when? That's February 10th, 11th, and 12th.
Okay. Totally free. You don't have to show up at a certain time. And just we'll put the links right in the show notes. People can come check it out. 100% free.
You can have a great time. You'll learn so much. And it will give you those first steps to clarity and to execution that you need. And then you can find out about B school. Yeah.
It's great because it's a preview. I mean, if you like the way I teach, you can come join us for B school. We'll let you know all about it. If you don't, you're still going to learn a ton and you can still go take action on all of it. Let's talk about organizational strategies and what you do for that because that's time genius, right?
Yes. So, I mean, that comes from honestly, Tamsen, from me being so burnt out. This is probably back in the 2019 2020 times. Okay. Where I just felt like I was waking up every day and all of my old tricks weren't working anymore.
Like meaning meditation, working out, journaling. I just found myself so exhausted and so just like, "Oh my god, I hate my life. I hate my business." Like my tagline is helping people create a business and life they love. And I'm like, "I don't I somehow created a business and life I don't love. How did we get here?" So I realiz I don't even picture you like that.
I'm so glad you're being so like vulnerable about that. It sucks to feel like that. Oh, it's it's an awful feeling. And I think we all maybe find ourselves there at least once if not maybe certain times in our life when our soul is craving a next evolution. And for me it certainly was.
And I realized that I was like I have a really dysfunctional relationship with time. No matter how hard I push myself, I always feel like it's not enough. I remember looking at my couch and wishing hoping that it would be okay. It was in the middle of the afternoon that I could go lay down on it. But in my mind it was like, "Nope, you got to call your parents.
You got to reserve the designs. You know, you got like five people waiting for text. And you know, if you stop, the whole shit's going to fall apart." This is terrible. Anyway, it took me having like a huge tumor growing outside of my uterus and, you know, just a show from a health perspective to actually slow down. Is that what it took?
Yes, that's what it took, mama. Goes back to your health, right? It goes back to I mean I feel like in my life and for many of us especially if you're ambitious you're driven and again many of us are driven by fear. You can override your body until your body takes you out and says if you're not going to listen to the whispers here comes a brick now you sit with it. Did you know that's what happened?
Oh it definitely happened. I knew it and it was it was necessary. Do you like it was because nothing was going to take me down. Nothing was going to slow me down, just physically massive pain. And I just discovered that there was just basically we're living in this modern world where everyone, it's terrible for our nervous systems.
Everyone is overwhelmed. Everyone's feeling pulled in a gajillion different directions. And we're starting to lose lose ourselves. We're losing our ability to think clearly and critically. We're losing our ability to experience joy.
Our lives are passing us by. This is a stat that blew my mind. Right now, the average American, get this, will spend the equivalent of 44 years of their lives looking at screens. No. Yes. 44 years. 44 years of our lives looking at screens if we stay on track with this.
And I read that stat when I was doing the research to create this program and I was like, that's me. If I don't get my together, if I don't step away from like I don't want that for my life. And for everyone listening, it's like your purpose on this planet is not to spend 44 years of your life looking at a screen. And there's a whole other way. So I talk about in this time genius program, there's this paradigm of time stress, which is what most people are living in, never enoughness, and a paradigm of being a time genius, which is where I strive to spend most of my time now.
And it's first a mindset shift that you have to go through where there's always time for what's most important. There's five core principles of the framework, but then it's all rooted in behavioral science, in neuroscience, and aligning your brain, your body, and your actions so that you can thrive, not just succeed. Because there's a difference. You can have the money. You can have the followers.
You can start getting all the accolades and the this and the that and the invites. But if you are not thriving, if you're not happy, if there's no time for joy, if you can't rest without guilt, you are going to come to the end of your life and regret so much. And I didn't want to do that. So anyway, Amen. Yes.
That it really, you're right, though. You're right. And if you talk to anybody, you know, I look at my 86-y old dad who's taken a pottery class and I love it. Bonsai trees in his house and guitar lesson. But I know he didn't do that all those years, but I see him now and I see that joy and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, that's that's what joy is.
That's what actual joy is." And we don't want to wait. And not that I mean I'm I'm sitting here praising. Same thing with my dad actually. I just I was getting like little WhatsApp texts from him doing this art class and it's the sweetest. It's so nice.
But I was just taking a look at my own self and I'm like I I wasn't like who I was seeing in the mirror. And honestly the feeling of depression and anxiety and lethargy and again I was like there's a misalignment here between who I have been and who I want to be and like the way I'm operating and pushing it's it's not sustainable. What does a day or week look like for you now? Now it's like really spacious. Oh my goodness.
I'm definitely in a in a phase of and reinvention. I feel like the priority and this is the truth and I've written this down. I like to journal a lot. Yeah. The truth for me is that now that I'm 50, I have recognized very clearly that in order to feel good in my body and to feel good in my life, I require a lot more maintenance and I require a lot more time on things that have absolutely nothing to do with work.
Do they make you work stronger? I think it makes me more magnetic. I think it makes me work on a much more easeful level. Yeah. I think it actually makes me much more effective and joyful and happy overall, but it's like a different operating system and I'm really excited for it.
So like my weeks look really different right now. It depends on like what kind of projects I'm working on, but they have become so much more spacious and joyful and I feel like I've become so much more I've always been the queen of no. My my team laughs at me because I'm a professional disappointment. Really? I'm like the I've been the queen of Yes.
How do you become the queen of no? We're gonna We'll talk once we're complete. What? It's like there's a whole R to this. But I do I do it with kindness and I do it with love.
But it's like my body truths are so undeniable at this point that I've learned if I say yes to something that's not in full alignment, my ass is going to get sick. It really is. Really? I cannot override this vessel, the truth, anymore. It's like I love that.
Yeah. 50 50 changes some things, huh? Yes. It just Yeah. I I It's I think it's a halfway point. If we live to 100, there's so many people living to pass 100 now.
So, it really is the halfway point, which is really fascinating. Yeah. And we don't know, right? And I think it's like And here's the thing. I was actually talking to Josh about this this morning.
It's this notion like first of all, what if you can't get your life wrong? Like, what if no matter what you do that you couldn't make a mistake? And what if we were all heading to the same destination, which is a version. When I say heaven, I don't mean in a in a dogmatic religious sense, but in a sense of like peace and connection and love and your idea of whatever heaven, like you're going to get there no matter what. So no amount of stress or pushing is going to be worth it.
Like you're not going to get an extra gold star at the end of your life. No, not at all. So for me, I'm like, how do I keep it cute? How do I keep it fun? How do I extract as much joy as possible?
And how do I in a joyful way use these gifts to continue to help people, but in a way that does not punish myself in the process? Well, my friend, I could feel it. I could feel last time I saw you when I was on your podcast. I can feel it now. I c I can feel it from you.
I love what you and Josh talk about in the morning. I think Iron and I just talked about like, can you get me a cup of coffee? Oh, I did that. I was I was the coffee maiden this morning. Can you get me coffee?
This morning, sometimes Joshy does it for me. This morning I was definitely I call it the coffee maiden. I come in with the coffee and sometimes I do a little He's like, "Can I get a dance?" I'm like, "You're asking too much." Now it's No, no, no. It's a Wednesday. Those are only Friday.
For the woman who is listening right now who's at the edge of her next chapter, but kind of frozen. Yes. What do you want her to know on the day she feels frozen? I want you to know that your answers truly are within. I'm going to give you a little mantra.
I need mantras cuz I have an ADHD brain and it helps me stay focused. Clarity comes from engagement, not thought. What does that mean? If there is any inclination in your heart for something that sounds delightful, interesting, that you're curious about, it could even make you feel a little bit scared, I want you to go take action on it. I want you to take the class.
I want you to make the phone call, book the trip, have the time alone, do the meditation retreat, whatever it is that is stirring something in your heart or soul, because that, in my belief system, is your higher self, your soul, giving you a breadcrumb to what is meant for you next. You don't have to have the whole plan. You don't need a five five-year plans. Those are so irrelevant. Those will be so outdated.
Oh my god. Trust the impulse that is coming within you now because in my experience, that is your next step towards healing and clarity. And your body will give you feedback when you do that thing, right? Whether it's a meditation retreat, if you're like, do I want to become a yoga teacher? Like whatever it is, y go do it.
Don't do surveys about it online. And don't talk about it with your friends because your body will speak to you very gently, very softly, and very clearly about what your next step will be, but trust that it's there. It's within you already. We're cheering you on. It's figure outable.
I wrote a book on it. Get it. I promise you. And enjoy the ride while you do it. You're amazing.
I think the Five-year Plan might be your next book. I love you, Marie. I really do. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
All right, lady. I mean, you heard it here, right? If you're having the now what moment, if you have questions about what's going on or what's next, everything is figure outable. Even if you can't see the whole path yet, the next step will reveal itself. I feel like this is one of those episodes people are going to listen to over and over again because there were so many nuggets.
If you want more Marie, which I know you will, I will link everything that we talked about in the show notes so you have all that information. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend. Take a moment. Please leave a review. It helps more women find these conversations and move into their next chapter with more clarity and confidence.
And thanks for Mitti, the care women deserve.
