The Hidden Reason You Keep Choosing Emotionally Unavailable People
You may have never heard the term mother hunger, but you may know what it feels like.
It can show up as apologizing when you did nothing wrong, saying sorry to keep the peace, taking care of everyone else, choosing people who cannot fully show up, or feeling guilty for having needs.
In this episode, Tamsen sits down with therapist and bestselling author Kelly McDaniel to explore how the mother-daughter bond can shape the way we love, eat, grieve, and move through relationships.
Tamsen also shares her own experience of losing her mother at 20, becoming a caregiver while she was still a teenager, and realizing years later how that loss continued to shape her life.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What mother hunger is and how it can exist even when your mother was physically present.
- Why you may keep apologizing, overgiving, or choosing emotionally unavailable people.
- How grief, food, attachment, and relationship patterns can be connected.
- Why caring for an aging mother can bring up guilt, anger, and resentment.
- How to begin giving yourself the care, safety, and guidance you may have missed.
If you have ever wondered why you keep saying sorry, why you feel responsible for everyone, or why the same relationship patterns keep repeating, this conversation may help you understand what is underneath.
Check out Kelly's website
Get Kelly's book, Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance:
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guest appearing in this episode
Kelly McDaniel
There are some lessons you only learn by living them. At 55, Tamsen has spent decades navigating career highs, heartbreak, toxic relationships, friendship shifts, and the unexpected challenges of midlife.
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medical disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.
0:00 Intro
3:22 What Mother Hunger Really Means
7:28 The Hidden Signs of Mother Hunger in Adult Relationships
15:37 The Surprising Link Between Mother Hunger and Emotional Eating
20:13 Frozen Grief, Shame, and the Pain of an Emotionally Unavailable Mother
24:22 Why Midlife Brings Mother Wounds Back to the Surface
28:29 Caring for Aging Parents When You Never Felt Mothered Yourself
30:29 How Mother Hunger Shapes Dating, Love, and Attachment
34:54 Why Forgiving Your Mother Can Help You Heal and Find Healthier Love
37:17 How to Heal Mother Hunger and Finally Feel Safe
