The Narcissist Decoder: How Smart Women Get Trapped in Emotional Abuse
If you've ever questioned your reality, blamed your hormones, or been told you’re “too sensitive,” this conversation will change how you see everything.
Tamsen sits down with world-renowned psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of the New York Times bestseller It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, to decode the emotional warfare so many women face in toxic relationships, especially in midlife.
They talk about:
- How narcissists twist your words and make you question your memory
- The subtle ways they use your hormones and emotions against you
- Why smart, self-aware women stay in toxic relationships longer than they should
- The early red flags that feel easy to dismiss but matter most
- What love bombing actually looks like (and why it works so well)
- Why midlife often becomes the breaking point for women in these dynamics
- How to rebuild your confidence and sense of reality after emotional abuse
This episode is a wake-up call and a roadmap to help you stop second-guessing yourself and start trusting what you know.
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guest appearing in this episode
Dr. Ramani Durvasula
If you've ever questioned your reality, blamed your hormones, or been told you’re “too sensitive,” this conversation will change how you see everything.
- Website: https://doctor-ramani.com/
Resources
medical disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.
01:48 – What narcissism really looks like
04:05 – Struggling to hold on in narcissistic relationships
06:53 – The different types of narcissism
10:00 – What do all narcissists have in common?
13:29 – What behaviors to narcissists display?
16:41 – Are we seeing more narcissists today?
19:27 – Midlife relationships and narcissism
23:14 – Healthy conversations about new relationships in midlife
27:52 – Why taking it slow is key in dating
30:52 – Why we need to dig into our relationships
34:02 – How menopause is weaponized in narcissistic relationships
40:18 – Shame and isolation in narcissistic relationships
44:05 – The barriers to leaving narcissistic relationships
51:12 – Couples therapy and narcissists
54:45 – Narcissist or just a jerk?
58:48 – Dr. Ramani’s one core piece of advice
