Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, How did I not see the red flags sooner? Narcissism and gaslighting aren’t always obvious, and some of the most damaging behaviors can be the easiest to explain away.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, one of the world’s leading experts on narcissism and toxic relationships, joins Tamsen Fadal to break down how narcissistic behavior actually shows up in relationships, why it can be so difficult to recognize, and how repeated manipulation can slowly make someone stop trusting their own instincts.
One of the most listened-to conversations on The Tamsen Show, this episode goes deep on the subtle red flags of narcissism, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, dating after divorce, and why even smart, successful, independent women can find themselves trapped in unhealthy relationships. It also explores how perimenopause, menopause, aging, sex, and changes in confidence can be weaponized by a narcissistic partner.
In this episode:
- The narcissistic red flags that are easiest to miss
- What gaslighting actually looks and feels like
- Why narcissistic relationships can be so difficult to leave
- The warning signs to watch for when dating
- How menopause and aging can be weaponized in relationships
- Why couples therapy can sometimes make a narcissistic dynamic even more confusing
For anyone who has ever been made to feel too sensitive, too emotional, too difficult, or unsure of their own reality, this is a conversation worth hearing.
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guest appearing in this episode
Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, How did I not see the red flags sooner?
Follow Dr. Ramani on Instagram
Get Dr. Ramani's book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
Resources
medical disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.
0:00 Intro
02:08 What Is a Narcissist? The Red Flags Women Often Miss
04:26 Why Narcissistic Relationships Make You Lose Yourself
07:07 The Different Types of Narcissism You Need to Know
12:23 The #1 Sign You May Be in a Narcissistic Relationship
20:41 Why Midlife Can Make Women More Vulnerable to Narcissistic Relationships
28:01 How to Protect Yourself When Dating in Midlife
33:25 How Narcissists Weaponize Menopause Against Women
37:49 How to Stop Isolating and Break the Gaslighting Cycle
40:57 How to Start Rebuilding Yourself in a Narcissistic Relationship
45:15 Can a Narcissist Ever Change?
51:01 Why Couples Therapy Can Make Narcissistic Relationships Worse
54:54 Is He a Narcissist or Just a Jerk?
59:04 The One Thing Every Woman Needs to Protect Herself










