Tired of Holding It Together? Founder of the We Do Not Care Club Shares Her Method for Letting Go
If you’ve been feeling exhausted, irritable, or done explaining yourself, or quietly wondering, “Why does everything feel so much harder right now?" this episode is for you.
In this powerful conversation on The Tamsen Show, Tamsen sits down with Melani Sanders, founder of the We Do Not Care Club and author of The We Do Not Care Club Handbook, to talk about the moment so many women hit during perimenopause and menopause...
When they realize they are simply at capacity.
What emerges here is relief. The kind of relief that comes from boundaries, self-trust, and finally choosing yourself.
Melani shares the story behind her viral grocery store parking lot video, what was happening in her body after a hysterectomy, and how unaddressed hormonal changes, anxiety, insomnia, and identity shifts pushed her to say the quiet part out loud: I don’t care anymore.
That moment didn’t just go viral, it sparked a global movement.
Together, Tamsen and Melani talk about why this shift so often shows up in midlife, how women end up suffering in silence, and what happens when you stop managing expectations that no longer fit who you are.This episode will make you feel seen, validated, and less alone in this chapter of life.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- Why so many women experience burnout and emotional overload in midlife
- The connection between hysterectomy, perimenopause, menopause, and mental health
- What “being at capacity” really means for women’s bodies and brains
- How the We Do Not Care Club became a sisterhood for women who feel unseen
- Why stopping the over explaining can be one of the most healing choices you make
This conversation is honest, funny, and deeply validating.
Bookmark this episode and share it with every woman who needs to hear: you are not alone, and you are allowed to choose yourself.
If you liked this conversation, check out ‘The Real Reason You Feel Stuck (and How to Fix It)’ with leading trauma expert Anna Runkle.
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guest appearing in this episode
Melani Sanders
If you’ve been feeling exhausted, irritable, or done explaining yourself, or quietly wondering, “Why does everything feel so much harder right now?" this episode is for you.
Resources
medical disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.
00:00 Intro
04:25 Life After a Hysterectomy, Depression, Anxiety, and Not Knowing Why
07:14 Hitting Capacity, Burnout, and the Wake Up Call in the Grocery Store Car
09:03 How One Honest Video Turned Into a Global Menopause Movement
12:22 “I Didn’t Think I Was Enough” Identity, Worth, and Going Viral Overnight
16:09 Perimenopause Symptoms No One Warns You About like Insomnia, Anxiety, and Body Pain
20:16 Why Community Matters So Much for Women in Midlife and Menopause
23:00 What Partners and Husbands Need to Understand About Menopause and Boundaries
28:33 How the We Do Not Care Club Chapters Took On a Life of Their Own
32:00 Why Fixing Everything Isn’t the Goal and Letting Broken Things Be Named
33:20 Saying Body Changes Out Loud and Ending Menopause Shame
35:05 Finding a New Kind of Friendship Through Menopause Advocacy
37:44 How To Feel Seen When Perimenopause Gets Dark
40:00 Dropping the Mask and Ending a Lifetime of Silence
41:18 A Movement of Permission, Truth, and Sisterhood
