Episode
76

What I've Learned After 35 Years Without My Mom

with
Tamsen Fadal
New episodes every wednesday

Mother's Day is not a simple day for everyone. If your mom is gone, or if your relationship with her is painful, complicated, or nonexistent, the world can make you feel incredibly alone in the middle of all of it. Like everyone else got something you didn't.

Tamsen lost her mom at 20 years old. She has spent the last 35 years doing everything without her… her first job, her first apartment, her wedding, her divorce, finding Ira, writing a book, going through menopause without her mom's roadmap.

In this honest and personal episode, Tamsen shares what she has actually learned after 35 years of carrying grief, including what she wishes someone had told her sooner.

You'll hear:

  • Why grief doesn't move in a straight line and what to do when a wave hits you out of nowhere
  • The difference between moving on and moving forward and why it changes everything
  • What neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki said about grief that Tamsen thought about all weekend after she said it
  • The three essential elements of maternal love from Kelly McDaniel's book Mother Hunger and where to find them if you didn't get them
  • What to actually do this weekend if you're struggling

You don't have to perform on Sunday, you don't have to explain your grief to anyone, you don't have to be okay, and you don't have to not be okay either. You just have to know you're not alone.

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guest appearing in this episode

Tamsen Fadal

In this honest and personal episode, Tamsen shares what she has actually learned after 35 years of carrying grief, including what she wishes someone had told her sooner.

Resources

medical disclaimer:

The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.

00:00 Intro

01:06 Losing My Mom at 20 and Navigating Life Without Her

03:01 Doing Life Without a Mother, Marriage, Divorce, and Midlife Milestones

04:02 Why Grief Doesn’t Follow a Timeline And What It Actually Feels Like

05:32 Moving Forward vs Moving On After Loss

06:34 How Saying Her Name Keeps Your Connection Alive

07:20 The Truth About Grief and Love 

08:34 Grieving a Mother Who’s Still Alive or Emotionally Unavailable

09:30 The 3 Things Every Woman Needs From a Mother And How to Find Them

11:51 What To Do When Grief Hits, Especially Around Mother’s Day

13:11 Writing to Your Mom 

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