Why Dating Multiple People Can Help You Choose the Right One

Many people believe focusing on one person at a time shows seriousness. On The Tamsen Show, dating expert Bela Gandhi explained why that approach often leads to missed red flags and rushed attachment.

Drawing from her background in finance, Bela introduced the idea of diversifying your dating portfolio. When someone dates only one person early on, fear of loss can override judgment. Red flags get minimized, rationalized, or ignored entirely.

Bela clarified that dating multiple people does not mean physical intimacy with multiple partners. She distinguished between intentional dating and emotional or sexual bonding. She explained that women release oxytocin at higher levels than men, especially through physical intimacy, which can create premature emotional attachment before compatibility is established.

By keeping a dating funnel open, people remain grounded in reality rather than fantasy. Options reduce pressure and pressure distorts perception.

She also outlined what healthy progression looks like. Based on patterns observed in her clients, Bela shared that exclusivity often develops after roughly three months or around 15 dates, once consistency, alignment, and emotional safety are demonstrated. Until exclusivity is discussed explicitly, she advises assuming both people are free to date others.

This approach protects clarity, reduces emotional burnout, and allows relationships to unfold without urgency-driven decisions.

Dating does not fail because people want love too much, it falters when fear rushes the process.

If you want to learn how intentional dating leads to lasting relationships, listen to this episode of The Tamsen Show.