How to Trust Your Intuition and Know When It’s Not Anxiety

Have you ever had a gut feeling you couldn’t explain? A job that looked perfect but felt wrong, a coincidence that was almost too specific, or a sign from someone you’ve lost that made you stop in your tracks?

Psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora, author of Season of the Witch: A Psychiatrist’s Case for Magic, believes we may be too quick to dismiss what we can’t explain.

Intuition vs. Anxiety

One of the biggest questions is how to tell intuition from anxiety. Ellen describes intuition as surprisingly neutral, almost like “a period at the end of the sentence.” Anxiety tends to come with more urgency, fear and mental noise.

She also suggests paying attention to how your body responds. Over time, you can begin recognizing what a genuine yes or no feels like for you.

Why Women Second-Guess Themselves

Ellen argues that women have been conditioned for generations to question their own knowing. We look for external permission, worry about being difficult and learn to prioritize everyone else’s comfort.

She calls this the “chill girl” problem: trying so hard to be low maintenance that we repeatedly ignore our own needs.

Menopause, People-Pleasing and the Fear of Being “Selfish”

Midlife can change that dynamic. Ellen has a fascinating perspective on why women may become less willing to people-please as they move through menopause.

Suddenly, no comes faster. Boundaries get clearer. You may have less interest in making everyone comfortable.

And then comes the accusation so many women fear: selfish.

Ellen believes women need to reconsider that word entirely. Having needs, opinions and boundaries is not the same thing as being selfish.

What Does a Psychiatrist Mean by “Magic”?

Ellen isn’t talking about spells. She’s talking about the inexplicable moments we usually rush to rationalize: intuition, synchronicities, meaningful coincidences and signs that make us wonder whether there’s more happening than we understand.

She doesn’t suggest abandoning science or believing every coincidence means something. Her argument is much more interesting: maybe we don’t have to dismiss an experience simply because we can’t prove it.

In this episode of The Tamsen Show, we explore how to trust your intuition, intuition vs. anxiety, menopause and people-pleasing, the “chill girl” trap, signs and synchronicities, and why one psychiatrist believes there should still be room for a little mystery in our lives.

‍