What I’m Learning About Friendship in This Season of Life

I was scrolling through my camera roll the other night and stopped on a photo of someone I used to be really close with.

It caught me off guard because it instantly brought back a flood of memories… trips we took, inside jokes, random calls at all hours of the day.

I had that moment of… wait, when was the last time we actually talked?

I sat there longer than I expected to, kind of replaying everything in my head and trying to figure out when it changed. And if I’m being honest, I couldn’t pinpoint it, it just happened.

I started going down the usual path of wondering if I missed something, if I didn’t show up the right way, if I could’ve done something differently. 

I could feel myself getting stuck in it, so I did what I’ve been trying to do more of lately. I got up, put on my sneakers, and went for a walk to clear my head.

My walks have quietly become my reset button lately and somewhere in the middle of that walk, I realized something that not every friendship ends with an explanation, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.

I think we’re so used to having closure in romantic relationships that when it comes to friendships, we don’t really know where to put the feelings. There’s no clear ending, no “this is over” conversation, no one really checking in on you about it.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Because it does.

I really thought by this point in my life, my friendships would feel more… settled? Like I’d have my circle and that would just be it.

But between everything going on lately with travel, filming, and events,I’ve been feeling how much things can shift without you even realizing it. You change, your priorities change, your capacity changes. And sometimes that means your relationships change too.

That doesn’t make anyone the “bad guy,” it just means you’re not the same version of yourself that you were when that friendship was built.

I think the part I’m working on now is not turning it into a story about something being “wrong.” Just letting it be what it was and what it isn’t anymore.

At the same time, I’ve been feeling really grateful for the community I do have right now.

Getting to meet so many of you at The M Factor 2 screenings, hearing your stories, having real conversations in those rooms… it’s been really special. Every event reminds me how many women are navigating all of this at the same time, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

If you haven’t seen it yet, The (M) Factor 2: Before the Pause is now out on PBS, and you can screen it here (or check your local listings) → https://www.pbs.org/show/the-m-factor-2-before-the-pause/

I really hope you take the time to watch it and maybe even share it with someone you love.

P.S. I talked about friendship breakups on this week’s episode of The Tamsen Show. If you want to listen or watch, you can find it here.