Relationships
If dating apps feel exhausting, discouraging, or oddly personal in the worst way, the problem often isn’t effort. It’s signal quality.
On The Tamsen Show, dating expert Bela Gandhi explained that dating profiles fail when they don’t accurately represent the person someone will meet in real life. With over 16 years of client data, she emphasized that people make decisions quickly and visually. Profiles that undersell, confuse, or distract create friction before a conversation ever starts.
According to Bela, photos matter more than any line in your bio. She recommends a clear structure, a strong headshot, two head-to-knee or full-body photos, another headshot, and one or two additional body shots. Photos should be no more than one year old and show how you would look on an actual date, not how you look lounging at home or hiding behind sunglasses.
She also cautioned against common mistakes, including bathroom selfies, group photos, heavy filters, and inconsistent looks across images. Bela explained on the podcast that people want to date the person in the picture. When photos don’t match reality, trust erodes before the first message.
The written bio supports the visuals, not the other way around. Bela shared that bios work best when they stay positive, forward-looking, and specific about what excites you in life. Profiles that complain about dating, warn others away, or lean heavily on sarcasm often signal emotional baggage rather than humor.
Dating apps are not a referendum on worth, they are a system, and systems respond to clarity, consistency, and intention.
If you want to learn more about building a dating profile that actually works, listen to this episode of The Tamsen Show.
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