I’m Tired of Being Afraid of Everything in My House

Lately, I’ve found myself looking around my house differently.

The plastic container I’m putting leftovers in. The candle burning on my counter. My deodorant. My makeup. The pan I’m cooking dinner in. The water coming out of my faucet.

And somewhere in the back of my mind is the same question:

Is this bad for me?

I don’t think I’m the only woman doing this.

We’re being told to avoid plastics. Watch out for forever chemicals. Buy cleaner beauty products. Filter our water. Stop using fragrance. Throw away our non-stick pans. Drink less alcohol.

At some point, trying to be healthy starts to feel like a full-time job.

And for me, breast cancer has never been an abstract fear. My mother was diagnosed at 44 and died from the disease. I have dense breasts. I started screening earlier because of my family history.

So when I hear that breast cancer is rising in younger women, I pay attention.

But I also don’t want to live my life terrified of my deodorant.

That’s the part I’ve been struggling with.

There are things we know.

Alcohol is associated with increased breast cancer risk. Movement matters. Screening matters. Dense breasts matter. Knowing your family history and your individual risk matters.

Then there are things scientists are still trying to understand.

PFAS. Microplastics. Pesticides. Other environmental exposures we encounter every day.

And then there are things that have somehow become accepted as dangerous online even when the evidence doesn’t support the fear around them. Deodorant is a great example. I’ve heard the aluminum-and-breast-cancer claim for years. The evidence has not shown that deodorant increases breast cancer risk.

That distinction matters.

Because women have enough to worry about without turning every decision we make at Target into a cancer-prevention strategy.

I recently sat down with medical oncologist Dr. Eleonora Teplinsky, and I basically brought her my entire mental list.

Would you heat food in plastic?

Would you drink out of a plastic water bottle?

Would you burn a scented candle?

Would you use regular deodorant?

Would you cook with a non-stick pan?

Would you live near a golf course where pesticides are being sprayed?

Would you wear your shoes inside?

Some of her answers surprised me. Others made me realize I was focusing on the wrong things entirely.

But what I appreciated most was that she never told me I needed to create some perfectly “non-toxic” life.

Because that doesn’t exist.

There’s also something much bigger at stake here.

When we talk about breast cancer risk, we have to be very careful not to turn risk reduction into blame.

A woman can exercise, barely drink, eat well, avoid plastic and do everything she was supposedly “supposed” to do and still get breast cancer.

She did not cause her cancer.

That may be one of the most important things Dr. Teplinsky said to me.

So I’m changing the way I think about all of this.

I don’t need to be afraid of everything.

I need to know my breast cancer risk. I need to get the screenings that are appropriate for me. I need to move my body. I need to pay attention to the things where we actually have evidence. And when it comes to some of the environmental stuff we’re still learning about, I can make reasonable changes without making myself crazy.

That feels doable.

And I think women deserve more of that kind of health information.

Not fear.

Not shame.

Not another list of 47 things we’re apparently doing wrong.

Just the best evidence we have right now, what we still don’t know, and enough information to make better decisions for ourselves.

My full conversation with Dr. Eleonora Teplinsky is out now on The Tamsen Show. Listen here or watch here.

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