Episode 
9

The Narcissist Decoder: How Smart Women Get Trapped in Emotional Abuse

Dr. Ramani Durvasula

The Narcissist Decoder: How Smart Women Get Trapped in Emotional Abuse
The Tamsen Show - Episode 
9
Audio Track
0:00 / 0:00

If you've ever questioned your reality, blamed your hormones, or been told you’re “too sensitive,” this conversation will change how you see everything.

Tamsen sits down with world-renowned psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of the New York Times bestseller It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, to decode the emotional warfare so many women face in toxic relationships, especially in midlife.

They talk about:

-How narcissists twist your words and make you question your memory

-The subtle ways they use your hormones and emotions against you

-Why smart, self-aware women stay in toxic relationships longer than they should

-The early red flags that feel easy to dismiss but matter most

-What love bombing actually looks like (and why it works so well)

-Why midlife often becomes the breaking point for women in these dynamics

-How to rebuild your confidence and sense of reality after emotional abuse

This episode is a wake-up call and a roadmap to help you stop second-guessing yourself and start trusting what you know.

01:48 – What narcissism really looks like

04:05 – Struggling to hold on in narcissistic relationships

06:53 – The different types of narcissism

10:00 – What do all narcissists have in common?

13:29 – What behaviors to narcissists display?

16:41 – Are we seeing more narcissists today?

19:27 – Midlife relationships and narcissism

23:14 – Healthy conversations about new relationships in midlife

27:52 – Why taking it slow is key in dating

30:52 – Why we need to dig into our relationships

34:02 – How menopause is weaponized in narcissistic relationships

40:18 – Shame and isolation in narcissistic relationships

44:05 – The barriers to leaving narcissistic relationships

51:12 – Couples therapy and narcissists

54:45 – Narcissist or just a jerk?

58:48 – Dr. Ramani’s one core piece of advice

Watch the Full Episode Here: https://www.youtube.com/@TamsenFadalTV

Get my new book, How To Menopause, Take Charge of Your Health, Reclaim Your Life and Feel Even Better Than Before 💖 http://www.howtomenopause.com

You can find Dr. Ramani here:

Website: https://doctor-ramani.com/

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Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.

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Hi, I'm Tamsen Fadal!

I’m an Emmy Award-winning journalist, filmmaker, author, speaker, certified integrative nutrition coach, and passionate menopause advocate.

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