You’re surrounded by people, but still feel alone. You wonder if anyone really sees you. You’re not imagining things. This feeling has a name, and a cause. It’s called emotional loneliness, and according to clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson, it’s surprisingly common in midlife, especially among women.
Emotional loneliness isn't just about being alone; it's about feeling unseen. It often stems from growing up with emotionally immature parents, people who couldn't tolerate emotional intimacy or reflection. Dr. Gibson explained, “You learn to hide yourself in order to be loved.” When these early lessons are left unexamined, they can follow us into adulthood, leaving us afraid to express need, afraid to take up space, and ultimately disconnected from our authentic selves.
Midlife should be a time of reckoning, discovery, and reinvention. But instead, many women hit what Dr. Gibson calls a “melting point” a moment when the strategies that used to protect them no longer work. They look in the mirror and don’t recognize who they’ve become. The truth? That’s not failure, it’s the start of growth.
The good news is, it’s not too late. Dr. Gibson encourages women to see midlife as their “last, best chance to grow up,” not into who they were told to be, but into who they actually are.
If this resonates, you are not alone. And you're not stuck.
Want to learn more? Listen to this episode of The Tamsen Show Podcast.
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