If your sleep has suddenly changed in your 40s, you’re not imagining it. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re likely in perimenopause, and your body is trying to adjust to something no one warned you about.
In my recent conversation on The Tamsen Show with clinical psychologist and behavioral sleep medicine expert Dr. Shelby Harris, we talked about what happens to your sleep during perimenopause and the exact steps women can take to feel better. These aren’t just wellness tips. They’re evidence-based tools used in top sleep clinics.
Here are the three rules Dr. Harris recommends for women in midlife who want to sleep better starting tonight.
1. Keep your sleep and wake times consistent, even on weekends.
The number one thing you can do for your sleep is to create a stable rhythm. That means going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, even if you had a rough night.
Dr. Harris explained that our bodies crave rhythm, and the more consistent we are with timing, the more our circadian rhythm stabilizes. If you wake up at 7 a.m. on weekdays, try not to sleep in past 7:30 or 8 on weekends. Over time, that consistency helps retrain your brain and body to know when it’s time to rest.
2. Stop trying to force sleep.
This one surprised me.
Many of us lie in bed tossing and turning, checking the clock, or running through to-do lists in our heads. The harder we try to make ourselves fall asleep, the more frustrated we become and that stress makes it even harder to relax.
If you’ve been awake for more than 15 to 20 minutes and you’re not feeling sleepy, Dr. Harris recommends getting out of bed. Do something quiet and calming (not scrolling your phone) until you feel your body naturally wind down again. The goal is to avoid associating your bed with anxiety, frustration, or overthinking.
3. Don’t over-focus on “perfect” sleep hygiene.
Yes, a cool, dark room and limiting caffeine matter. But many women are already doing those things and still not sleeping. That’s because the issue isn’t always behavioral, it’s biological too.
During perimenopause, hormone fluctuations can affect your brain chemistry, stress response, and body temperature. Dr. Harris encourages women to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. If your symptoms persist, it may be time to evaluate for insomnia, restless leg syndrome, or sleep apnea.
In other words, if the basics aren’t working, it’s not your fault. You might need a different kind of support and there are real solutions available.
Getting good sleep in perimenopause doesn’t have to feel impossible. These three foundational shifts can help you take back control of your nights and start feeling like yourself again.
Listen to my full conversation with Dr. Shelby Harris on The Tamsen Show
%252520Small.png){kind=spacer}
( $47 value )
