When Dr. Aliza Pressman joined The Tamsen Show, she shared what she calls the “Five R’s,” guiding principles that apply to every human relationship, not just parenting. Whether you’re raising toddlers, navigating a blended family, or learning how to connect with adult children, these five principles form a foundation for healthier, more resilient relationships.
1. Relationship
Research shows that strong, connected relationships are the single biggest protective factor against stress-related harm, especially for developing brains (Harvard Study of Adult Development, 2023). But this isn’t just for kids, adults also thrive when they have a few deeply connected relationships.
2. Reflection
Taking the time to ask, How did I experience love growing up? and Is that what I want to pass on? creates intentional relationships. Self-awareness allows you to respond instead of react.
3. Regulation
The ability to pause, breathe, and distinguish between real and perceived threats is key. As Dr. Pressman explained, “When you can tell your nervous system there’s no emergency, you make better choices.”
4. Rules
Boundaries aren’t about control, they’re about physical and emotional safety. Research on parenting styles shows that an authoritative approach (high warmth and clear boundaries) leads to better outcomes for kids than overly rigid or permissive styles.
5. Repair
Decades of research show that repairing small ruptures in a relationship actually strengthens it (Tronick & Cohn, 1989). Just as muscles grow from small tears, relationships grow from conflict followed by reconnection.
Perfection isn’t the goal. Connection is. Want to learn more? Listen to this episode of The Tamsen Show
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